Social Media: Ups & Downs

Morning Pages

10.18.16 4:19am


Good morning everyone.

Welp, it seems I’m up early again. This time I woke up around 3:55am. I tried going back to sleep, but then I found myself scrolling through Twitter which was a sign that I wouldn’t be falling back asleep anytime soon. Of course, the whole point of me doing these morning pages is that they’re supposed to be THE first thing I do when I wake up. Scrolling through social media is a no-no.

Looking back, I think social media has a lot to do with how stressed out I get sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate it for what it is. After all, my entire life depends on social media given the fact that I make videos for a living.

I think this applies to everyone, but given how much we use the internet these days, it’s very easy to get caught up in all the noise and sort of forget to look at what’s actually in front of us. And no, I’m not about to spew out the “People these days don’t socialize! We’re always looking down at screens!” speech. I do, after all, play Pokemon Go.

I remember a time when I found social media to be fun, mostly in the MySpace or Friendster days. I think a lot of people remember this time fondly was well. Of course, things did change, and now Facebook is more like a phone book and “news” source than anything.

For me, it sort of works out like this:

I’ll wake up, and the first thing I’ll do is check the time on my phone. This will then most likely lead to me opening up Twitter, giving my notifications a quick scroll. I may find the rare mean Tweet, but I can shrug it off. Then, I’ll go through my “business” email. I say “business” because most of it is junk. A lot of terribly composed messages from the “tin foil hat” types of fans. Other than that, it might be a company asking me to work with them, most likely one that has nothing for me to relate with. Email checking usually leaves me with my eyes rolling. After that, I’ll get to Facebook, and eventually I might dare to check my YouTube stats. This is usually what kills it for me. I’d rather not drone on about it, but once I reach the YouTube comments, I start to feel like I’m being pulled apart in all directions by anyone and everyone, sort of like I’m some kind of stage puppet purely there for the amusement of whoever the fuck.

But, obviously, that simply is not true. Life goes on, and I’m still free to do and create what I want. As I said, it’s much easier to get lost in the noise and forget what’s actually in front of us. I think all YouTubers can relate to this, but one negative comment stays with you way longer than the other ten positive ones. I think this is true in life in general, actually.

On a more constructive note, the channel reached 170,000 subscribers yesterday. Around this time a year ago, I had roughly 8,000 subscribers, mostly due to the “Letsnotmeet” Reddit story boom. 8,000 is as far as I got, though. It was also around this time that I released the video that would launch my channel. By Halloween, I had reached 10,000 subscribers which was honestly my ultimate goal at the time. I never really thought I would have gotten to 100,000 and somehow be as close to double that as I am now. I’ve never said this publicly, but YouTube has drastically changed my life, despite how inconsistent I’ve been with it.


With that being said, I have been trying to get more organized, and so far it’s working out pretty well. Of course, things still aren’t perfect, but I’m feeling a lot more confident in my current system compared to ones I’ve used in the past.

Although, I will admit that I never really did have much of a “system” in place. I finally managed to clear out all of my “video idea” post-it notes. I have a good stack of them, but now I’ve got them all written out on a chart, or on my “back burner” list.

I’ve got quite a bit to attend to today, mainly video stuff and house chores. I’m going to be recording a video that I’m personally very excited for, and I think my viewers will love it as well. Aside from that, I’ve got a few scripts to write and edit. I’m hoping I can cram a few more videos before it’s time for me to go on vacation.

Oh, and I’ve got “Jigolo Har Megiddo” by Ghost playing in my brain on repeat. Time to listen to it again.

Have a great day.



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