Good morning everyone.
I haven’t exactly been doing great lately, but that’s alright. I will admit that I’ve been having trouble getting back into things, as far as making videos is concerned.
I have a feeling that this entry is going to sway a bit to the gloomy side, so if you’re not in the mood to get bummed out, you might want to stop reading.
I have been pretty depressed again lately. I always hate sharing this side of me online, because it’s always followed by people emailing me about “sucking it up” when they really have no place to do so. Anyway, I feel like talking about it, so I will.
I first want to point out that I don’t like feeling this way. I do want to be happy, and to be able to appreciate everything life has to offer. I always try to keep that in mind. I always worry, and I am always on edge, but I try not to take things for granted.
There are just some days (or weeks, or months) where I can’t seem to hold myself together. These are periods where I completely shut down. These are the stereotypical “can’t get out of bed” days.
I’ve gotten to the point of not exactly knowing what to do when this happens. Do I force myself to feel better? Do I just sit back and allow myself to feel what I’m feeling? I have no clue. At this point, all I’m concerned with is that I don’t self medicate, or self destruct like I used to. I suppose that’s progress. Not much, but it’s something.
I think I’m going to go watch something now. Maybe it’ll distract me.