I feel like I haven’t talked to you guys in forever, which probably isn’t that far from the truth. Well, maybe “forever” in internet time, anyway.
I’ve been keeping mostly busy, aside from last weekend and yesterday. The weekend was completely wasted away. I pretty much just stayed in bed. Yesterday started out alright. I got some interesting side stuff done, but tapped out early because I wasn’t feeling well. Today will be a productive day, but not for my channel. I’m going to be recording two collaborations for channels that I’ve been meaning to work with for a long time–probably over a year now. I’m glad this is finally happening.
I’d been thinking of what to do for when I hit 200k subscribers on YouTube. At the time of writing this, I believe I’m at around 191k, so 200k isn’t THAT far off. I’ve probably got another month or so. With that being said, I’ve got about 3 weeks to finish up a five-day marathon, just like the one I did last year for 100k. I still have no idea what I want to do exactly, but it’s starting to come along. I’ll also be throwing in a little extra surprise for the fans who care enough to go looking. It’s nothing too crazy, but it should be a fun little game.
Right now, I’m feeling a little anxious. I’m a bit intimidated by the road ahead. I have a feeling that I’m going to be presented with many opportunities this year, and I’m scared to death of fucking them up. On top of that, I’m finding myself in this uncomfortable position where I’m not exactly sure if I can handle what I’m about to get myself into. If you follow my social media close enough, you’ll know that I’ve been trying to figure out a permanent Wednesday series for the channel. So far, it’s meant to be research-heavy and ultimately longer than my average videos. I know you’re probably going to suggest shortening or simplifying it for my sake, but that just won’t work. I feel that that’s the format needed for the series to work, and it won’t happen any other way unless I tweak the overall concept. Right now, I’m just not confident that I have what it takes to keep on top of my game alone. It would be a completely different story if someone hired me to do this. All the pressure would be off my shoulders–but nope–the channel is just me, and all me. Any and all fuck ups will fall back on me.
Anyway, I’m done with my usual overthinking episode. I wanted to throw my thoughts out there to help myself get out of my own way. Now, it’s time to stop being a nervous wreck and to get out there and make an ass out of myself in front of thousands again! Yay YouTube!
Have a great day.